বৃহস্পতিবার, ২৫ অক্টোবর, ২০১২

Self Improvement | Self Acceptance and Self Confidence - Two ...

By Barry R Parker -

People are sometimes confused by the various self-terms so I?ll begin by defining the ones I will be using. As the name implies, self-acceptance is accepting yourself as you are; in other words, coming to terms with yourself now, as you are, with all your talents and strengths and also with your shortcomings and faults. It is a more encompassing term than self-esteem which refers to how much we like ourselves and consider ourselves to be valuable and worthwhile. Self-confidence, on the other hand, refers to how confident you are in relation to your abilities. If you?re self-confident, you?re sure you will do a good job. It also applies, however, to having confidence in your appearance and intelligence.

Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is closely associated with ?self-image.? This is the image you have built up about how good, successful, talented, or how unlucky, and ugly you are. It is an image that has been built up over your lifetime, an image that is based mainly on your successes and failures.The first step, therefore, in improving your self-acceptance is improving your self-image, and to do this you have to change the way you think about yourself (I treat this in a separate article).

Other than improve your self-image, the major thing you have to do is learn is to accept yourself as you are now, with all your faults. Some of your faults, shortcoming, and so on can be changed, and you should try to change them, but for now you have to accept them. Many people feel they are too skinny, too fat, too short, not smart enough, or have ears that are too big, or don?t have enough hair. It?s important not to hate yourself if you have shortcoming of this sort ? in many cases they are things you were born with and can do nothing about. You don?t have to be perfect, and indeed, no one is. Tell yourself: ?I?m not perfect. But so what. Nobody is. And I?ll make the most of what I have.?

In short, accept yourself. Be yourself. And the major reason why is that both your happiness and your success depend to a large degree on your self-acceptance. In fact, it?s difficult to be truly happy or successful without it. So stop trying to be perfect; see yourself as you are. This doesn?t mean you shouldn?t strive to improve yourself in every way possible ? you should.

Your friends and associates also have a large effect on your self-acceptance and self-esteem. When you believe that they have a high opinion of you, your self-acceptance and self-esteem increase. On the other hand, if you think that they have a low opinion of you, your self-acceptance usually plummets. It?s important, therefore, to make sure this doesn?t happen. So, don?t worry about what other people think; in most cases you?re wrong anyway. Furthermore, it?s important to remember that no one can make you feel bad about yourself, unless you let them. People frequently make remarks that are hurtful to others without realizing it (and of course sometimes they do it on purpose). Don?t take them seriously. No one has any power over how you feel about yourself ? unless you allow it. Learn to ignore them.

One of the best ways to boost your self-acceptance and esteem is to sit down and list your accomplishments. You may not think you have many, but you may be surprised. Think of the goals you have accomplished, the awards you have received, the years of schooling or university you have completed. Think about your accomplishments at work and in regard to your hobbies and so on. Read them over when you finish. Take pride in them as you think about them.

Tips on How to Improve Your Self-Acceptance

  • Don?t try to impress people.
  • Concentrate on the positive things in your life. appreciate them.
  • Don?t ignore y our faults or shortcomings ? accept them. Don?t worry about them, but tell yourself you?ll work to overcome any that can be overcome.
  • Pick a role model ? someone you admire and look up to ? and emulate their good points.
  • Have goals. Achieving goals always makes you feel good.
  • Don?t make excuses; don?t blame others constantly, and don?t complain.
  • Learn from your mistakes.
  • Relive your ?best moments? (in your memory) occasionally. Think of your unique talents.
  • Remember that everyone has things they don?t like about themselves. You are not alone.
  • When you start to worry about something you don?t like about yourself, say to yourself, ?Nobody?s perfect. I?m not perfect, but neither is anybody else, and I?m a person.

Self-Confidence

As I mentioned at the beginning of the article, self- confidence has to do with how confident you are in your abilities. It is about how you feel you do the tasks you perform. And it?s also about how confident you are in your appearance. Self-confident people are sure of themselves; they are confident they will be able to do what is expected of them, and do it well. It may not be something that pervades all aspects of their life, however. Most people are confident in certain areas, but not confident in others. They may, for example, be talented and confident at a particular sport, but have little ability or confidence to speak to a group of people. It?s also important to note that confidence is not necessarily related to ability. Some people with considerable ability in a particular area don?t feel confident. It?s also possible to have high confidence, but low self-esteem. Many celebrities fall into this category; many actors, for example, have high confidence in their ability to act, but rely on drugs to see themselves through the day. People with low self-confidence usually look for constant approval from others to feel good about themselves. When they don?t get it they lose confidence. They also frequently put themselves down, find it difficult to accept compliments, and expect to be unsuccessful.

So, how do you develop self-confidence (assuming you don?t have it)? It may not be easy. Lack of confidence is usually ingrained from years of feeling inferior. One of the best ways to begin is ask yourself what you really love to do. If you love a task or job it is much easier to do, and you?ll feel more self-confident doing it.

Sit down and make a list of all the things you really like to do, and while you?re at it, make a list of your strengths. Do they fit in with the things you love to do? If they don?t, you?ll have to think about how you can bring them together. What do you need? More education? More training? Get it.

Next, concentrate on your strengths and forget about your failures. This doesn?t mean you should develop an unrealistic picture of yourself; it means you should be honest with yourself. You should look carefully at your abilities and shortcomings but always emphasize the positive.

We?ve all met people we admire, and frequently the main reason we admire them is because they are so self-confident. It?s not a good idea to try to emulate them exactly, but you can learn form them, and incorporate some of their best traits into your personality

Tips for Increasing Your Self-Confidence

  1. Always think and act positively.
  2. Get rid of any negative thought as quickly as possible.
  3. Use self-talk and affirmations to encourage yourself.
  4. Goals are important. Achieving them gives you considerable self-confidence.
  5. Dress and groom yourself well.
  6. Be prepared for all tasks. Beat insecurity by being well-prepared.
  7. Continue to learn and study, even if you think you know it all.
  8. Undergo self-evaluation every so often. Access yourself honestly.
  9. Smile as much as possible.
  10. Use visualization.

Barry Parker, Ph. D., is a professor emeritus (physics) at Idaho State University. He is the author of 25 books on science, health, writing, and music. His website is http://www.BarryParkerbooks.com and he has several blogs, one of them is at Barrysbuzz123.blogspot.com. He has done research in biophysics (mutations in the DNA molecule) and in relativity theory (Einstein?s field theory), has a strong interest in health and fitness, self-improvement, and in music (particularly piano). He taught a writing class at ISU for several years. One of his recent books is ?Feel Great Feel Alive.?

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